


Don't Say it Like That

by kingvandam



Series: Falling was a Mistake [1]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sad so I wrote this, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23392579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingvandam/pseuds/kingvandam
Summary: Dean had never been the best at making good decisions, but falling in love with his best friend? Oh yeah, that one takes the cake.
Relationships: Dean Ambrose | Jon Moxley/Roman Reigns
Series: Falling was a Mistake [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1700935
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Don't Say it Like That

“I don’t know. It just feels like my whole life is falling apart. Not like it was ever together.”

Roman stayed quiet, watching Dean carefully.

It had only been an hour ago that Dean had shown up at Roman’s house drunk and stumbling. The knocks at his window were far too loud. Dean had tried his best to be gentle, but he misjudged it completely. The way Roman had shot awake was telling. There had been clear alarm written all over him but Dean guessed that was to be expected. After all he had shown up in the middle of the night banging loudly on the window. Banging so loud Dean was afraid he was going to break the window completely. 

When Roman first opened the window he had told Dean off for causing so much noise while Roman’s parents were asleep. Dean had cringed. Despite the yelling only being in a whisper tone the idea of upsetting Roman cut Dean somewhere deep inside. Dean had slurred out an apology and an ‘I need somebody to talk to’. Roman had softened instantly at that. This wasn’t the first time Dean had showed up out of nowhere to talk and it wouldn’t be the last. Roman always pushed the point that Dean could and even encouraged him when he actually did. 

Though Dean had never gone into all that much detail Roman knew that Dean’s homelife wasn’t the best. Wasn’t the best was an understatement, but Dean wasn’t about to let Roman know that. Roman wasn’t dumb and had been able to piece more of it together on his own. However Dean was thankful that Roman didn’t bring any of that up to him. What Roman had found out on his own went unspoken between them. They both knew he knew but neither acknowledged it. 

Dean figured that being there to listen was Roman’s way of helping. There was nothing Roman could do about Dean’s actual situation so instead he provided an escape. Roman invited Dean to everything. Anytime Roman could get Dean away from home he did. As casual as Roman tried to be about it Dean could see right through what he was doing. Sometimes Dean got in his own head about it. Sometimes Dean felt like he was a burden that Roman felt like he had to carry. Roman did his best to chase away those fears but they’d always come creeping back. Dean had spent his entire life being told how much of a burden he is which made it hard to accept that Roman didn’t see him that way. 

Currently they were parked at a small park on the edge of town. Roman had opened up the bed of his truck and they both sat on the edge looking out into the nearby pond. Dean was smoking a cigarette he had pulled out of his jacket pocket. He had to re-light it every now and again because the wind would randomly come in a large gusts by them. As much as Dean tried to hide it he was shivering. It was early November and the alcohol made him even more sensitive to the cold weather. 

Roman had asked him what was wrong right after they had gotten settled in the back of the truck. Dean wasn’t sure he actually had an answer to that.

“Every time things start going good again it all falls apart,” Dean’s voice was quiet and shaky. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

It was simple. Only a few words, but they were words that gave Dean space. Space that he needed to breathe. Roman wasn’t going to push it if Dean didn’t want to, but he left it open in hopes that Dean did. The care in which Roman chose his words showed how much he actually cared. The realization made Dean feel a warmth deep within his chest. Sure your best friend was supposed to care about you, but Roman really cared. About Dean of all people. On top of that he chose to care about Dean. Dean wasn’t placed on him Dean was chosen by him. That was a concept Dean wasn’t sure how to grasp. 

“No,” Dean brought the cigarette up to his lips before dropping his hand back to his side, “Yes. I don’t know.” 

“Well what’s bothering you,” Roman tried. 

“Loads of stuff,” this time Dean did take a drag off his cigarette. 

Roman took a deep breath beside him, “Well pick something off the load. What’s bothering you right now.”

Lots of things were bothering Dean right now. He was either going to flunk out or get expelled. Underneath his clothes his skin was coated in bruises both faded and not. He was substituting meals with cigarettes. There was a whole laundry list of things that were bothering Dean. Few of which he could actually tell Roman about. At this exact moment however? The thing that was really bothering Dean was that he was in love with his best friend. His very straight with a girlfriend best friend. Dean definitely couldn’t tell him that one. It wasn’t what had originally driven Dean to get hammered and show up at Roman’s window, but it sure was occupying a lot of space in his mind at this exact moment. 

His chest ached at the very thought. He was in love with his best friend. He was in love with his only support system. It made sense that he would fall in love with the only person to ever show him any semblance of kindness. That didn’t make it any better though. In fact that only seemed to rub salt in the wound. He thought about telling Roman sometimes. When the feeling got to be too much. Instead he’d just swallow it down. One slip up of ‘I love you’ could cost him the only thing he cared about and his only freedom. 

“School stuff,” Dean muttered as he looked down at his feet. 

“School stuffs got you banging on my window drunk trying to wake my parents?” Roman jokes both in attempt to lighten the mood and an attempt to show Dean how ridiculous that sounded. 

Dean weighed his options for a moment before responding, “Okay home stuff.” 

“Home stuff you wanna talk about or home stuff you don’t wanna talk about?” 

Dean hesitated, “I just want someone to love me,” voice meek, barely above a whisper. 

“Hey,” Roman wrapped his arm around Dean and pulled him close, “I love you.”

Dean’s head shot up to look Roman in the eye, “You do?” 

“Of course,” Roman laughed, “You’re my best friend dude. Obviously I love you. You might as well be my brother.” 

It felt like he had been stabbed. At least that’s the only way he could even to begin to think of describing the way he felt just then. There had been a sharp pain that had shot through his chest, right through his heart. It felt like he was on fire and like he was drowning all at the same time. Most of all though he felt shame. He felt stupid. Of course Roman loved him like a brother. How could he ever get his hopes up for anything else. He knew better than that. At least he thought he did because he sure didn’t know better just a second ago. 

“Oh,” there was a crack in Dean’s voice, “Right.” 

Roman squeezed Dean tightly, “Always will.” 

Dean nodded, looking down and away. Being snuggled up in Roman’s arms wasn’t exactly helping in any way but Dean wasn’t willing to pull away. Someday he’d wake up and not be in love with his best friend. Someday he’d wake up and life wouldn’t suck. That was the hope at least. Until then he would take what he could get and right now what he could get was Roman trying his best.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me @kingvandam on tumblr!


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